I Want You to Be My Universal Champion!
Kevin Owens and Uncle Sam give us...not what we want...but what we need! A new Universal Champion! Courtesy of the WWE.
By Matthew Klink (@klinkmatt)
August 10, 2018
It’s no secret that the WWE has been doing some extraordinary things with it’s Universal Championship this year. And not all things extraordinary are necessarily good.
Some of the good has come to light in the past two weeks: Brock Lesnar throwing Paul Heyman and Kurt Angle around the ring and Paul Heyman delivering the promo of a lifetime. Both of these decisions have helped turn around a feud that has gone on too long and will more than likely provide us with a predictable end. That turnaround has injected more than a modicum of heat on the Beast, Brock Lesnar, and some actual cheers (while not organic in the slightest) for Roman Reigns.
It’s been bandied about, for a while, whether to focus on Roman Reigns or his opponent to make him the face. A steady stream of incorrect guesses by creative had only made Reigns situation worse. So when coming up with the plan to get your fans excited for your show and not just a single superstar, you double down. You try your best to find a way for the crowd who would attend SummerSlam (different from a Monday Night Raw crowd or house show) to actually urge Roman Reigns to overcome the Beast. But if that doesn’t work, you should have an ace in the hole on standby.
The easy answer back in June was Braun Strowman. He’s mean, he’s big and the fans love chanting “Get these hands”. Braun Strowman is a scary guy and the fans get behind monsters who have fun being monsters (See: Brock Lesnar). I’m not sure if it’s animal instinct that gets us to cheer for him, similar to the gladiator days or if it’s our desire to be that intimidating and dominant even while brushing our teeth.
Regardless of why we cheer for Braun, we do it. And that idea is what made the choice of Braun Strowman, cashing in the Money in the Bank, so easy to make. But does it really make sense? We’ve all seen Money in the Bank cash-ins. You run in, hit em while they’re down, and escape with your new title. This, usually performed by a sneaky weasel of a character, is not a tactic that a monster would choose.
Braun needs to destroy his opponent. And not just for himself, but for us. I mentioned it already, but the Gladiator days crowned their champions not only by their victory, but how they did it. For Braun to stay our hero, he can’t sneak into the ring and cash in that Money in the Bank. He has to hunt for fresh meat. He wants to show us he is the best in the business and he isn’t doing that by waiting for Roman and Brock to beat each other to death. He earns our respect and admiration by eviscerating his foe and then standing triumphant over their graves.
Okay...so maybe that doesn’t happen every time. But it can’t happen with Braun’s cash-in...right? RIGHT?
How do we fix it? Give it to the second best heel in the company (that’s right, I’m honoring Tommaso Ciampa in this post when I don’t have to) Kevin Owens. Kevin and Braun have been going toe-to-toe for the last couple of months, if not longer. Braun is the hero bully and Kevin is the sneaky bad guy. For some reason, this works. And fortunately, it has worked so well, that the feud has brought up the potential for a sneaky, weasley, bad guy to cash in the Money in the Bank briefcase. Simply by finding a way for Braun to lose his match to Kevin Owens (it sounds like we’re talking count-out and DQ), Kevin can become the new briefcase holder. Thusly, allowing him to cash in later that night.
So, we don’t even know if that cash-in will actually happen that night, but if I had a dozen doughnuts, I would bet ten of them that it would.
Why does this work? Because we have a whole fall to fill up with programming! Braun Strowman wins the Universal Championship and who should he fight first? It will either be Roman or Brock. Both of those choices stink. If Kevin Owens win, we can write Roman off of the show, Brock can wave goodbye, and Kevin can feud with Braun. How?
First! Roman Reigns has to FINALLY beat Brock Lesnar.
Then! Lesnar...furious about his loss, destroys Roman Reigns. So badly, that we have to suspend Brock Lesnar for...lets say 6 years! Okay.. now Brock is gone.
So Roman is close to death in the middle of the ring...BRING OUT THE BRIEFCASE HOLDER!
Kevin Owens runs to the ring. Looks at a battered and defeated (while still champion) Roman Reigns. He gives the briefcase to the referee, cashes in his opportunity, and then lays on top of Roman for the win.
Boom! We have a new Universal Champion.
Why is Brock Lesnar suspended? Well, I figure he’s not coming back for a while, so the WWE can save face by making it look like it was their decision. And Roman getting beat down? Well, he’s now gone for a month and won’t be able to challenge for the Universal Title.
So...the next month (or two) will be the end to the feud of Braun Strowman and Kevin Owens. The end that will eventually see our hero take the title (Braun Strowman) when he finally gets HIS hands on Kevin Owens.
If you don’t love this direction then you have something wrong with you...or you accidentally found this website and you’re thinking “who is Braun Strowman and why do people like his hands so much?”
This is the best way to go for three reasons!
Get Roman Reigns off of TV for a bit. Let us forget about him. When i didn’t get AJ Styles for a week on SmackDown Live, I craved it! Also, let the big dog heal up a bit. He’s been in the main even for a while now and he does have talent. Sure, he’s over exposed and getting super boring, but he’s got a lot of talent and a hell of a work ethic. Let’s not kill him.
Brock is gone! YAY! Whether you love him or hate him he needs to go too. He has been a cancer to this locker room, to the programming, to the story lines, and now we can be rid of him.
We get a fresh main event for the fall. The fall always seems to flounder and not be very good. This will be a chance to give the biggest face and strongest heel a chance to shine as fans tune into Monday Night Football over Monday Night Raw. Then, when Roman is ready, you insert him back into the main event picture, when we’ve all forgotten why we hate Roman so much.
Research be damned! I am a warm blooded animal who loves wrestling! This will work!
As we continue to get more matches booked (so far, ten in total), I am loving this card. If you haven't made plans yet, don't forget to be on your couch on August 19th for the biggest show of the summer: SummerSlam!
Carmella vs Becky Lynch vs Charlotte Flair for the SmackDown Women's Championship
Ronda Rousey vs Alexa Bliss for the Raw Women's Championship
AJ Styles vs Samoa Joe for the WWE Championship
Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar for the WWE Universal Title
Dolph Ziggler vs Seth Rollins for the Intercontinental Championship
Shinsuke Nakamura vs Jeff Hardy for the United States Championship
Braun Strowman vs Kevin Owens for the MITB Briefcase
The Bludgeon Brothers vs the New Day for the SmackDown Tag Titles
Baron Corbin vs Finn Balor
Daniel Bryan vs The Miz
Sunday, August 19th, 7PM EST
Listen, Subscribe and Review the Podcast on SoundCloud and iTunes! Thank you!
